We have all heard the saying “kids are always worse when Mom is around”. Have you ever wondered why this is the case? Why does it seem that your kids are so much better for everyone else? Everyone says they are so good yet, everything hits the fan as soon as you walk in the door. Their whole demeanor completely changes. It almost feels like you have two sets of kids.
Why Are Kids Worse When Mom Is Around?
If you've been left wondering how your often rambunctious pushing limits child has been deemed a perfect angel when away from home, you'll find some answers below. Our children love to push our limits because we are with them all the time. There are many factors at play, and below we are sharing some more common reasons when kids are worse when Mom is around.
There is one simple answer. You Momma, are their safe spot. We get the horrible tantrums, the grocery store meltdowns, and the constant whining, and sibling rivalry (just to name a few). When something just isn’t right or they are hurt, they run to you Momma. Why? It is because in their eyes, Mom can fix everything. These seemingly negative parts of parenting, are our children showing us just exactly how much they love us. A spot where they can show their worst and still know that they are unconditionally loved. You give them a spot where they can show their worst and still know that they are unconditionally loved and accepted.
With safety comes complacency. Even in toddlers and young children, there can be a level of too much comfort that leaves them feeling entitled. So, the result is they whine and believe you are going to do what they want. Without that safety net around others, they are less likely to fall back on bad habits.
While it isn't necessarily a slight against you, it is often that your children behave better away from you because they are having more fun. At least, the fun feels like that in the moment. This is especially true when it has been in the midst of a long period of time where you have been alone together and they have begun feeling bored or overly "parented". Going somewhere new, different, or with different rules seems more fun to them at the moment. The result is less pushing buttons and more of the good behavior you want to see.
Sprinkled within all of this bad, is also their absolute deepest love and their craziest most amazingly perfect goofy selves. We get so many amazing moments along that way that are so special. Moments only us Momma’s get to experience with our kids. The beautiful moments that sparkle through all the bad are what keep us going. Our worn-out Momma hearts are mended with these moments. It is in these moments, that our heart is strengthened.
Our kids give us their absolute worst and that is okay. Just know that if this is the case in your house as it is in mine, you have created a safe space in your home. A place where your child feels so safe that they want to be 100% themselves. Good for you Momma! You are rocking this parenthood thing!